What Advice Would You Give to Church Leaders Who are Navigating Conflict or Division in Their Church?‍

‍

Conflict is natural. Add in a diverse group of believers, and it’s inevitable. How do we handle disagreements within our churches in a healthy, God-honoring way? We asked some of our previous conference speakers for wisdom and insight into navigating conflict—a common challenge in ministry.

‍

‍

Danielle Brown‍

Have difficult conversations. Oftentimes, the issue that is presented is not the actual issue. And so, pulling teams together to let them know: “It’s okay to address elephants in the room. It’s okay to be honest and have conversations.” We can’t work through what we don’t put on the table. Set the standard for how conflict is handled. At Shiloh, we have a saying that, “We handle conflict [with] truth in love, flooded with grace, always leaving room for reconciliation.” But also, conflict does not have to be the end of us. Conflict does not have to be the end of relationship. Conflict also does not have to be the thing that causes disunity. But even despite our conflicts, we can move forward because we are all working toward the same end. And we’re doing it together.‍

‍

Ben Stuart‍

James tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry because the angered man doesn’t produce the righteousness God requires. So, I would say when you are encountering anger from people, lean in with a question. If they’re talking, keep them talking. Because sometimes when the anger burns out—if they see that you’re still there listening—it gets to the real heart-level wound. But if we’re just reacting to the anger, then it’s react, react, react, and we never get to where the real wounding lies. I love that James starts that verse by saying, “Beloved brothers, be slow to anger.” How are we going to be slow to anger? It’s because we know we are loved by God. So, we are not threatened by their anger. But let them burn it out, let me lean in with a question, hear their heart, and apply gospel healing to that place of difficulty.‍

‍

Libin Abraham‍

I would always encourage you to understand before you criticize—before you even land at a conclusion. Because I know if you’re like me you’ve got that defensiveness that just jumps in. It pops up, but well, I want to seek to understand. It was Rufus Miles who said, “People make their stand based on where they sit.” The idea is that wherever you sit in life, and whatever your life experience has been and your background and your story, you make your positions and stance based on that. So, understanding where people sit in life and asking questions and engaging in a conversation to actually learn and listen—that often leads to an understanding. It may not always lead to agreement, but it can lead to you accepting a person even if you don’t agree because you’ve understood their story and their journey. I would encourage you to keep the focus on Jesus—his body. Because his one body created one body: the church of Jesus; and the cross of Jesus, the blood of Christ, invites unity. It brings healing, tears down the wall of hostility. And we realize: “You know what, I can give up some of my preference because of the person of Jesus and the mission that God is inviting me into.” ‍

‍

Joby Martin‍

There could have been a lot of division among the disciples of Jesus. But what they unified around is not unity. They didn’t unify around unity. They unified around Jesus. Post-resurrection, Peter decides to go back fishing. And when John lists the disciples that are in the boat, you’ve got people who had nothing in common. You had royalty like Nathanael, and you had blue-collar workers like Peter, James, and John. You had Simon the Zealot. He had the “Make Jerusalem Great Again” hat on. And you had Matthew the tax collector. He was working for Rome. These people had nothing in common. What they did have in common was the blood of Jesus. It’s kind of like a triangle. The more you focus on the gospel—on the person and work of Jesus, people from every tribe, every tongue, every nation, every political persuasion, whatever ideology they have—when we focus them on Jesus, they get closer and closer and closer to one another as they grow closer to Jesus. Stay focused on Jesus. ‍

‍

Conflict happens, but it doesn’t have to divide us. As Christians, we are part of a group of people with diverse languages, cultures, and backgrounds who are all united by Christ. When disagreement happens, don’t be afraid to have the difficult conversation. Lean in and listen. Seek to understand. And above all, stay focused on Jesus.

‍

How do you approach conflict in your church? Watch sessions from RightNow Conference 2024, Together, for biblical insight and practical resources. Click here to watch.