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It’s a trite but true saying, one we would follow closely with God’s warning in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” As church leaders, we know all about the need for Christian community. We preach it, write about it, can cite all the verses imploring and commanding Christians to engage in it . . . but few of us can escape the magnetic pull of isolation. No one is an island, but the calling to ministry often seems like a call to living alone.
Even when surrounded by staff, volunteers, and faithful church members, leaders can feel isolated. Our people don’t understand the weight of spiritual leadership. Our work is often minimized to “just getting coffee with people all day.” In addition, we have unique internal struggles that we don’t know how to deal with. We encourage people through their doubts, but don’t know where to turn with our own. We prepare sermons or lessons on confession and repentance while fearing that if we practiced what we preach, we would lose our jobs. And so, we hide, couch the truth behind Christian platitudes, and pretend to have it all together when the seams of our lives are tearing.
For a church leader, isolation can feel like the only way to make it when simply trying to stay afloat has led us to feel misunderstood, unappreciated, and unable to be ourselves. It may not be good, but it seems easier to be alone.
Let me tell you something you already know: the reason you are remaining in isolation—no matter your circumstance—is a demonic lie. Isolation will encourage your secret sins to grow, fertilize the roots of your pride, and hasten inevitable emotional and/or physical burnout. It may feel safe, but isolation will destroy you and your ministry.
Yes, you are in a unique position both professionally and spiritually, but the normal rules of Christian life apply to you in the exact same ways that they do to the people in the pews. More than that, God’s grace and love are equally available to you as they are to the greatest sinner in your Sunday service.
1. You need confession and repentance. Read James 5:13–16. What fears or concerns do you have with confessing and repenting of your sin within your church? What could you gain from turning away from your hidden sin?
2. You do not need to hide your flaws. Read 2 Corinthians 11:28–30 and 12:6–10. What strengths are you tempted to hide behind? What would it look like for you to “boast in your weakness”?
3. You need friends both in and outside of your church. Read Hebrews 3:12–13. In what ways does isolation encourage your sin? Who in and outside of your church could you meet with for regular encouragement and accountability?
You do not have to lead alone. There are countless opportunities for you to connect with other church leaders just like you.
1. Join thousands of pastors, church staff, and group leaders for RightNow Conference.
2. Connect with other pastors who use RightNow Media through the Church Leaders Facebook group. Discover weekly bonus content, best practices, and conversations with others in ministry.
3. Explore the Pastors library—it has great content for pastors and church leaders. Go through a study with other leaders or your staff to grow in Christ together.
The barriers keeping you from being fully known may feel insurmountable, but God is calling you into something far greater than your isolation could ever offer. Ministry can be a burden, but it is never meant to be carried alone. In Christ, you can look at your community and echo the words of David in Psalm 133:1, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”
If you’re a decision-maker at your organization, request a free consultation to find out how RightNow Media can equip and inspire your people.
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It’s where large sanctuaries and gathering spaces shrink to the size of living rooms, dining rooms, and back porches; where doctrines and theological abstractions become concrete; and where the “one anothers” that mark the life of the church—“love one another” (John 13:34), “welcome one another” (Rom. 15:7), “live in harmony with one another” (Rom. 12:16), etc.—aren’t just recited but practiced.
But front line ministry isn’t easy. Small groups are among the most demanding ministries in our churches and can be challenging, draining, and rote—especially for group leaders. What can leaders do when their group runs into a dry patch?
Compared to the rest of the year, summer is a time when most people retreat from work or school, go on vacation, and relax. But the weeks and months leading up to summertime? Busy. Overscheduled. Frantic. And like it or not, regular small group meetings can add to the overwhelm we and our group members might feel.
One strategy group leaders can adopt to avoid the stress is to implement a “spring break.” Scheduling a planned break or two during busy parts of the year can help group members catch their breath and rest. And sometimes, rest is the most spiritual thing we can do.
Some of our fondest, most vivid memories have occurred around a table. The table is a place of belonging, and what happens there—the stories, the laughter, the prayers, the food—is often as formative as anything we do in our small groups.
If you find that your group has lost some of its “oomph,” consider breaking from your normal routine to break bread together. Engage in table fellowship. Prepare a meal together. Sit around a table together. Give thanks. Bless one another. Remember the Lord’s faithfulness together. Through the food and the fellowship, “taste and see that the Lord is good” (Ps. 34:8).
In small groups, it’s natural to become an insular community. The time we spend praying, studying, weeping, celebrating, and singing with one another binds us together and forms us into our own little enclave. And that’s good! But if we aren’t careful, we can lose touch with what’s going on outside the walls of our meetings.
One thing you can do to keep your group energized and engaged is to serve your neighborhood or community together, either through your church or a local ministry. Service can be a great opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus for your neighbors outside the group.
When a group’s Bible study becomes dull or flat, it can be frustrating and distressing. But it happens even in the best, most vibrant groups—especially if you’ve been together for a while. So, what do you do when your group’s study feels rote?
Reading books together is a great way to introduce change while still exercising your group’s “study muscles.” Discuss with your group what book would be best. It could be non-fiction or fiction (I’m a big believer in the formative power of fiction), whichever best suits your group.
Have you ever tried your hand at spiritual disciplines like silence and solitude, fasting, meditating on Scripture, or observing the sabbath? These “disciplines” (and others) have a way of heightening our awareness of God’s presence with us and his grace toward us. Practicing them in community can give our faith the jolt it needs.
What could it look like for your group to engage in a spiritual discipline together? To what extent might fasting or memorizing Scripture together provide a needed change? Consider pitching the idea to your group the next time you gather.
For many of us, small-group ministry is the lifeblood of the church. It’s where we go to experience fellowship and accountability, be ministered to, confess our sins, bless and be blessed, and receive prayer. Yet as rich as our experience with small groups can be, it can also become overly routine and even stale—at the fault of no one. Ministry is just plain hard sometimes. But there are steps we can take to keep our group environments fresh and provide a vibrant, formative space for the Spirit to work on us and our group members as we gather each week.
It feels like church is changing. Well, that isn’t completely the case. Worship styles, Christian culture, and the popular forms of preaching change with every generation. That is as inevitable as the sun setting this evening. But the cultural ground under our feet has shifted.
As pastors, we can often despair over our congregation’s lack of passion. To combat their malaise, we dream up campaigns to build excitement, events to attract people distant from the gospel, or emulate popular teachers to add an extra spark to the pulpit. We run ourselves ragged trying to dispel apathy. But what happens when flashy strategies and catchy anecdotes don’t energize our people; when there are no new volunteers and Back Row Bob still sleeps through your sermons?
When our strategies fail, we often feel like failures. Shame, despair, doubt, and self-criticism come knocking on our office doors to remind us of our flaws and shortcomings. If we aren’t careful, we will end up like Elijah, abandoning our calling in frustration, grief, and despair (1 Kings 19:1–10).
Our culture is changing. In many ways, the Christian culture of the last thirty years is disappearing as the West evolves into a post-Christian world. The strategies of yesterday aren’t working today like they used to and won’t work in tomorrow’s world. But we don’t need a new strategy. The solution to apathy and the church’s woes is not a better worship set, a more responsible youth pastor, or better elders. Gospel-oriented passion is a God-given gift.
When we ask God to cure our apathy, we are asking for nothing less than revival—a reorientation of people to God by the power of the Holy Spirit. That’s a tall order, far too much for any one of us. But, to our relief, the enlivening of God’s people and reawakening of the spiritually drowsy is not our responsibility. It is not in our skillset. Any and every pastor-led “revival” will end as soon as that pastor’s humanity is revealed—either through exposure of sin, exhaustion, or weakness.
You are imperfect, but God has called you to lead his people, flawed as you may be. Your call is to be faithful. What you need, what your people need, and what the world needs is for the Spirit to move in our midst.
The first step in combating apathy is to drop to our knees in humble prayer, admitting our limitations, our fears, our frustrations, and hopes. Praise God for what he has done in your church (how often we forget!) and what he is preparing to do. Practice what you preach. Confess your sins. Thank God for his goodness. Weep and rejoice for your flock. Boldly ask that God would awaken you and your people and be glorified in your congregation.
An expert band, thousands of dollars in lights, and beautiful staging, are nice for Sunday worship. But true worship is neither confined nor defined by staging. True worship is defined by spirit and truth and can happen in every moment of our lives. The profound beauty of worship is not found in your band’s version of “Oceans” or in your expert teaching. The glory of worship is in its object—God himself. Worship is an opportunity for you and your people to wholly turn to God in praise and awe.
The second way to combat apathy is to point your people to God—the one who is, was, and ever will be. The Alpha and Omega; beginning and end. The most passionate church in the world is the church who is wholly focused on God. And, again, true worship is a gift from God. The Spirit leads us in truth, prays for us when we do not have the words, and glorifies the Father and Son as he indwells us.
Once again, you are dependent on God to enliven your worship. So keep praying.
It can be easy for lay people to assume that pastors and church staff are the only people with a calling on their life. We know that isn’t true, that every person is called to lay their lives down at the foot of the cross.
We are busy. But our schedules don’t change God’s calling. Often, we try to make church amenable to people’s schedules. To a point, that is totally understandable. But decades of seeker-sensitive models have taught Christians the church is a low-commitment event. It is what we do on Sundays—well, the Sundays we feel like going. Is it really that surprising Christians who see church as an optional program aren’t excited to sacrifice their time, energy, and resources for it?
When we minimize commitment to the Body of Christ, we send the message that the church’s need is not so great—that sacrifice is for church staff, volunteering is a hassle, and the mission of God is a side plot to our lives.
Do not minimize involvement in the church. Don’t soften the commands of Scripture. When someone shows up to volunteer, don’t give them a minimum requirement—tell them what you need and ask for a commitment. Invest in them.
Apathy has always been a problem for God’s people. We aren’t experiencing anything new, even as our culture slides into a post-Christian perspective. But when the world ignores the church, our hope doesn’t change.
Pastors are like the prophets of old, surrounded by idols and syncretism. Like the prophets, we call people back to God’s Word, to radical repentance, worship, and service.
Our world doesn’t need a better event; they need Jesus. Turn to him. Point your people to him. Call them to his standard.
Pastor, he is with you.
Sure, we know we’re supposed to grow as Christians and help others do the same, but spiritual growth often feels nebulous. And as church leaders, we often feel like we’ve tried every plan, Bible study, and small group to help people grow, and we wonder if anyone is actually changing.
Discipleship might not be as step-by-step as an instruction manual or as simple as directions on a map. But we do know what a disciple looks like, how disciples act and think, and what disciples create because we know Jesus. He’s our example who clarifies discipleship for us, and as his followers we seek to grow to be more like him.
On November 1–3, pastors and church leaders will gather in Dallas, TX to explore what it means to grow in Christ. As we hear from speakers like David Platt, Jennie Allen, Eric Mason, and more, we'll focus our gaze on Jesus who shows us how to be his disciples.
The gospel is clear: we were once far from God but now we belong to him. And he’s with us always through the Spirit, teaching us to be more like Jesus. As his disciples, we cling to Jesus and his gospel, trusting the Spirit to help us grow (John 13:35; Acts 1:8).
Jesus saves us into a family—the church. We grow the most when we are with other Christians. We teach each other, worship God together, and encourage each other to keep going. As Jesus’s disciples, we help each other grow (1 Cor 12:12–13; Heb 10:24–25).
Jesus commanded his followers to make disciples, and his command applies to us. Making disciples involves sharing the gospel, living in community with other Christians, and pointing others to Jesus. As Jesus’s disciples, we help other people grow (Matt 28:19–20).
As church leaders, we seek to cultivate a church that helps people become more like Jesus, encourages the community to embody his love, and launches believers to share the gospel in word and deed. Our goal is what Paul declared in Colossians 1:28 (NIV): “He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ.”
Since Jesus left the disciples, we have carried the gospel across the globe. But, when we think of how to connect with unchurched people in our community, we can be left scratching our heads.
Was it always this hard? Do we need to make our churches more relevant, more trendy, more comfortable? We feel like we’re doing all the right things but we aren’t seeing results—what are we missing?
It can be disheartening to go through seasons where we aren’t seeing people come to Christ. We can feel stuck or behind. It can be tempting to think that we have to try something drastic to introduce more people to Jesus. But when we think about reaching the unchurched—people who have no experience with or interest in either the church or Christ—we don’t need to reinvent the wheel. We simply need to do what Christians have always done with a strategy that best fits our context.
In Bible study, we all know context is king. If you don’t know the context of a passage, you will probably miss the point. The same holds true for your church. God has placed you (a unique pastor) in your church (a unique people) in a unique place. Your position is purposeful and should define everything from the sermons you preach to the sort of programs your church offers.
To connect with the unchurched, start by thinking through your unique context—the things that make your mission field and position unique. These questions can get you started:
No matter how you answer these questions, starting with God’s unique design for your church will give you an idea of his direction for your church. For example, if non-Christians in your community are unlikely to go to church on Sunday, think about how you can empower your people to befriend their neighbors or to make your small groups open to visitors. Or, if your church is downtown but speaks the language of the suburbs, consider how you might adapt to relate to the people next door.
As you figure out your context, your creativity will spark. You will think of new events, sermon series, or ministries that could help you connect with the unchurched. But, as our culture changes, our posture also needs to adjust. For decades, the church has operated on a “come and see” model. People were willing to go to church or check out weekly ministries because the church was broadly seen as trustworthy and needed. Today, that is not always the case.
Unlike in year’s past, people today are more likely to think organized religion isn’t important. According to a 2019 Gallup study, only 36% of Americans have a high level of confidence in the church or organized religion, an all-time low. At the same time, 29% of Americans have little or no confidence in the church, an all-time high. In other words, we should assume that the people around us are skeptical of the church, even if they claim Christ.
So what do we do? A Sunday service may attract a handful of curious unchurched people. But a mobilized congregation of purposeful, Christlike friends can reach dozens of neighborhoods, workplaces, coffee shops, and grocery stores every day. Our congregations can reach more unchurched people in a day than we could with dozens of well-crafted sermons.
The attractional model has passed its prime. It is useful in some areas, but less so every year. To connect with the unchurched, our model for ministry needs to turn outward, shifting from a “come and see” to a “go and tell” mentality. For some of us, we may just need a change in our language, speaking to the specific concerns and questions of our culture. For others, we may need to fundamentally alter the way we do ministry.
There are many reasons why the unchurched may not be attracted to a church service or event, but there is nothing stopping us from going to them. Everywhere you go, someone needs Jesus: your neighbors, coworkers, bank tellers, and mail carriers. God has placed you in their path; trust him and what he can do in their lives.
Connecting with the unchurched is not about marketing strategies, trendier social media accounts, or more relevant sermon illustrations. None of those things redeem sinners. Only God can change a person’s heart. Our responsibility is to faithfully make disciples wherever and whenever God gives us the chance.
To summarize the Great Commission: go, baptize, teach.
There’s always someone to meet with, church bathrooms to clean, a small group curriculum to plan, volunteers to train, or a sermon to write. And while all of these are good and necessary tasks in ministry, the constant pressure to do more can drive church leaders to exhaustion.
In my early ministry, I served a church plant and worked in a coffee shop to help pay my bills. The grind of building a church from the ground up while working a second job became so normal that I couldn’t even recognize how exhausted I was. Luckily, my lead pastor was a good friend who saw that I was skating near the edge of burnout. He forced me to take a sabbatical to rest. Yes, forced. I didn’t think I could leave all my pressing work undone and, in some ways, I didn’t want to.
I don’t think my experience is unusual. Far too often, pastors don’t rest because they don’t think they can. We preach about rhythms of rest and practicing the sabbath to our congregations while silently feeling like that blessing is off-limits for us. And so, we slowly march closer and closer to burnout where the quiet contemplation we typically find in rest morphs into a dire questioning of our calling. Instead of prayerfully considering what God might have for our next ten years of ministry, we secretly wonder if we should leave ministry all together.
According to Barna research, at least one in three Protestant pastors has seriously contemplated leaving ministry in the last three years. 1 More than half say they do not have the luxury of a private life.2 Less than a quarter of pastors would describe their relationships as flourishing, and less than one out of five pastors would say they are personally flourishing.3 Pastors are struggling, exhausted, and ready to leave the pulpit for a healthier lifestyle.
Between our unique cultural moment and the pressure of ministry leadership, we need to prioritize sabbaticals—extended periods of rest to spend time with God, to contemplate where he might be leading our ministry, to study, and to connect with our families and friends.
There is no singular right way for a church to practice sabbaticals, but every church should care for their leaders by offering, even mandating, that pastors take them. If you do not currently have sabbaticals in your church or are considering how you might update your current rhythm of pastoral rest, here are some parameters to consider:
It isn’t easy to slow down, especially when a lot of us are used to running on coffee and the adrenaline of immanent church deadlines. Having nothing to plan, no fires to put out, and no meetings to run can leave us feeling bored or useless. The temptation is to fill our schedule with home repair, travel, or family events. But don’t miss the unique opportunity to rest both passively and actively.
Passive rest—sleep—is essential for recovering and lowering our cortisol (the stress chemical) levels. During a sabbatical, you can not only catch up on sleep, but set a healthy sleep schedule. When you’re tired, take a nap. You need it.
Active rest is participating in hobbies, attending events, or visiting places that bring you joy. Your sabbatical gives you the space to participate in those things that always get bumped off your schedule. Make them a priority for both you and your family.
God desires a relationship with you just as much as he does with the people you preach to on Sunday mornings. Your sabbatical gives you the space to pray, read Scripture, and walk with God without any agenda. During this time, you don’t have to be a “pastor”—you are a disciple.
It is a special blessing to worship in a service that you did not plan and are not responsible for when you are used to working on Sundays. Consider attending sister churches during your sabbatical where you can worship without having to shepherd someone. If you choose to attend a different church, let your congregation know why and reach out to the pastor at the church where you will attend. Clear communication will help your church know why you are not around on Sundays and help the visiting church best serve you and your family during your sabbatical.
Like Jesus withdrawing to pray and Elijah retreating to the mountain, your time away from ministry is an opportunity to hear from God. Define a purpose for your sabbatical. God may give you a new vision for your ministry, direction for your church, or call you to start something new. Take time to intentionally listen to God about your leadership, teaching, family, your church’s direction and vision, and the way you approach ministry. You may come back from your time both rested and changed.
If a sabbatical is not on your immediate horizon, you don’t have to wait to find a healthy rhythm of work and rest. A sabbatical can give you time away from work, but if you do not correct the root issue of your burnout, you will continue to risk your longevity in ministry. Some simple practices could be creating a rule of life, practicing and protecting a sabbath day, setting a sleep schedule, or delegating tasks to others.
God loves you, pastor. You can rest, both in seasons of work and on sabbaticals.
1 BarnaGroup, The State of Pastors Vol. 2 (Ventura, CA: Barna Group, 2024), 18.
2 BarnaGroup, The State of Pastors Vol. 2, 27.
3 Barna Group, The State of Pastors Vol. 2, 33.
I’d spent my whole life in stage-of-life groups with people like me—guys with similar interests and struggles. Those groups made connecting with other Christians easy, but this new group was a challenge. I felt I had little in common with the retired empty-nesters and college students in my living room. I struggled to ignore the chaos of the toddlers playing on the floor. And I had no clue how to counsel married couples.
The people in my small group watched movies I’d never heard of, inhabited various corners of social media, held opposing political views, and even had different ideas on how to live the Christian life. How was I going to lead this group, much less help them build friendships with each other across their diversity?
I was facing the big challenge of multigenerational groups: connection. Because we gravitate to people like us, diversity can feel uncomfortable. But if we stick with the tension of getting outside of our bubble, we can find the richness of the body of Christ in all of our unique gifts, experiences, and wisdom.
Every group is different, and leaders can try many strategies to help their group form good, lasting relationships. But, as the leader, you need a strategy to help people overcome feeling disconnected from other group members.
Leading a healthy small group is like gardening: we can prepare the soil and water the seeds but only God can make the seeds sprout and grow. You can’t force friendships, but you can create a place for them to grow.
Think about the times you have felt most welcome in someone else’s home—what did they do that made you feel comfortable and appreciated? You don’t have to throw a dinner party; sometimes people just need to be asked about their day. Find the person standing on their own and strike up a conversation with him or her. Or if there is a young mother in your group, think about setting aside a space for her infant to sleep or nurse. A little consideration can make everyone who visits your group to feel valued.
The people in your group have a wealth of experiences and wisdom—far beyond what you as a leader have on your own. Instead of worrying about what you need to teach, think about the questions you can ask the people in your group. What do you want to know about them? What insights do they have that would bless the rest of your group? What have they learned about God and his faithfulness
If you have a hard time thinking of good questions, that’s okay! Most RightNow Media Original series come with free study guides full of great questions so that you can worry less about preparing lessons and focus more on the people in your group.
Everyone is busy, and it can feel like a struggle to make it to small group every week. But if you want your members to share their lives with each other, you will need to spend time together outside of your small group meeting. Don’t make it too complicated—you could get coffee with one person in your group each week or coordinate group lunch after church on Sunday. The more casual interactions you have with people in your group, the faster you will build meaningful relationships with them.
Every church has different goals for their small groups, but we all share the same mission: to make disciples and build God’s kingdom on earth. And nothing brings a group together like working as a team. Talk to your group about the causes and groups of people God has called them to serve. What need can your group meet? If your group has little kids, consider partnering with a local non-profit that can be flexible in the way you serve and are open to family friendly projects. Or find a place to serve as a group in your local church—if you get stuck, ask your pastor or other group leaders for ideas.
No one wants the relationships in their group to remain shallow. Getting together week after week to talk about news, sports, or the weather is, quite frankly, boring. We want our groups to be hubs of deep community marked by friendships, support, guidance, prayer, and evangelism. But meaningful friendships don’t happen overnight. It can take months (or longer) for a group to feel like a community. Don’t get discouraged when relationships don’t progress as quickly as you would like. In time, God will weave people together in ways you had not imagined. Don’t give up.
The first few months of your small group will be the most challenging as people push through awkwardness and build friendships with one another. In my group, some of the most unexpected people—people who did not immediately click with one another—ended up best friends and were in each other’s weddings. They’ve built families alongside one another, leaning on each other’s wisdom and support.
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We all want to experience the freedom of authenticity, but how do we get there? In Discover Your True North, Bill George writes, “Self-awareness is the foundation of authenticity, and thus it is at the center of your compass.” If we want to start off the year leading others in the way God has designed us to authentically lead, we must be keenly aware of the person in the mirror.
Self-awareness begins with the difficult work of self-examination. Yet many of us are unwilling to jump into the deep, dark, and uncomfortably cold waters of self-examination, which can feel like an attack on our identity. What if we discover that sometimes we are weak, wrong, or unpleasant?
The apostle Paul addresses the topic of self-awareness with the church in Rome: “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned” (Rom 12:3 ESV). This passage comes off the heels of Paul urging the church to be transformed by the renewal of their minds through the gospel message. The gospel tells us that we are weak, wrong, and unpleasant at our core, but God’s grace has rescued us and given us a new identity, which is rooted in Christ’s righteousness (2 Cor 5:21). So, when we peel back layers of ourselves through honest reflection, we may still find difficult realities of the fleshly nature hanging around, but our sober-mindedness reminds us that God’s love surpasses them all (Rom 8:38–39).
As those loved by God, we are free to ask ourselves the tough questions of self-assessment because God’s love for us will never change.
Paul goes on to explain another essential aspect of our identity in Romans 12. He tells us that, as individuals, we all have a responsibility to contribute to the whole body of Christ. Typically, our self-perception has a tremendous effect on our behaviors, which means that how we view ourselves has a direct impact on others. If we think too little of ourselves and believe we cannot be a positive influence on our brothers and sisters in Christ, we may rob them of the joy of God expressing himself through our giftings. On the other hand, if we think too highly of ourselves, we may miss God expressing himself through others’ gifts or even suppress others from using their gifts if we are in a position of authority over them.
In essence, we are free to be honest with ourselves because we are ultimately validated by Christ, and our self-perception greatly influences our relationships with others. Now, you may have a firm grasp on your self-awareness. Or perhaps you are just starting your journey to discovering more about how God has designed you. Many of us find ourselves somewhere in between. Regardless, we can all benefit from asking ourselves the hard questions.
Here are a few areas of our lives we can practice asking ourselves self-examination questions as we start off the year. Take time to think through these questions and consider asking a trusted person in your life to weigh in on your answers.
Paul challenged Timothy, a young ministry leader, in 1 Timothy 4:16 (ESV), “Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.” Paul urges Timothy to pay close attention to the way he lived because it painted a poignant picture of the effectiveness of the gospel to those following him.
We must be willing to do the difficult and uncomfortable work of self-examination by asking ourselves questions that get to the truth.
In turn, the truth will set us free to enjoy God, the community he’s given us, and the work he’s called us to do.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 1 in 5 adults are currently experiencing a mental illness—complicated issues involving mental, physical, chemical, emotional, and spiritual components. It’s safe to assume there are people in your family, at your workplace, and in your church who are currently struggling with mental health. Unfortunately, many stigmas exist around mental health in the church and in the world.
But here’s the good news: God cares about your mental health. In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, we’re going to break down misconceptions about mental illness and highlight the freedom that comes through knowing Jesus.
Not everyone has a diagnosed mental illness, but everyone has mental health they need to protect. While about 20% of adults experience life with diagnosed mental illnesses, everyone goes through situations and setbacks that influence their mental wellbeing. A stressful work environment, the death of a loved one, a change in your relationships, or a traumatic experience are just a few examples of common mental health triggers.
Even if you’re in the 80% of people living without a diagnosed mental illness, you can still be part of the conversation. While not everyone talks about it, mental health is a relevant issue for all people.
Because of the recent increase in mass media conversations about mental health, it may seem like mental illness is a new issue. But the modern conversation is only catching up to what’s always been true: mental illness is a real struggle for many people.
Take King David, for example—most of his psalms are emotional cries to God in deep pain or true joy. If you’ve ever felt depressed, you’re not alone. Listen to what David writes in Psalm 6:
“I am weary from my groaning;
with my tears I dampen my bed
and drench my couch every night.
My eyes are swollen from grief;
they grow old because of all my enemies.”
In addition to David, Elijah and Job also faced mental health struggles. Elijah’s mental health suffered during his conflict with Jezebel to the point of Elijah wanting to die (1 Kings 19:3–4). Job felt depressed and fearful in response to his pain and loss (Job 3:24–26). If you’ve ever been emotional because of a broken relationship or situation in your life, you’re in good company. The Bible is a story of imperfect, mentally unhealthy people pursuing a perfect God who can restore hope in even the darkest moments.
The Bible explains Jesus as being without sin, but not without temptation, trials, or emotions. Jesus was fully God and fully human. He can relate to you.
Hebrews 4:15–16 puts it this way:
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.”
The Bible shares countless stories of Jesus experiencing a vast spectrum of emotions. In his time on earth, Jesus was “tempted in every way as we are” so that he would be able to “sympathize with our weaknesses.” There is no feeling, situation, or mental illness that disqualifies you from Jesus’s understanding presence.
If you are currently struggling with mental illness, you are not alone. You are loved, seen, and cared for by God. Please reach out to a trusted doctor or spiritual leader for insight and advice. There is hope and healing for you.
If you are not struggling with mental illness, there’s probably someone in your life who is. Your kindness and compassion toward those who are struggling helps more than you realize. Your grace and empathy could be the answer to someone else’s prayer.
Wherever you’re at on your mental health journey, God is right there beside you. The fight for mental health is difficult, but you are never fighting alone.
He does. What we view on our screens directly affects how we think, feel, and behave. And God has opinions about the character of his people.
Parents know technology’s power intuitively, as we raise children in a digital age dominated by screens. The truth of Romans 12:2 applies to our online life too:
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
How can parents help children see the role of technology in their pursuit of God’s will?
We must remember that digital content providers generally don’t care about our spiritual formation. They just want our undivided attention. Video games fix our concentration through built-in rewards that keep us coming back. Social media algorithms train us to seek likes and follows. Streaming platforms produce volumes of content aimed at enticing repeat viewers. Adults and children alike can be wooed into mindless—and countless—hours online.
Kids do not bear full blame for screen overuse—we parents are often tempted to choose computer games or movies to occupy our kids so that we can accomplish our own tasks. Laundry and meal prep loom daily. Perhaps we homeschool older children or work from home. Screens offer an easy distraction for kids that allow us to accomplish a little more than we otherwise could.
The over-use of screens expanded exponentially in 2020 as parents struggled to manage lockdowns and quarantines during the Covid-19 pandemic. Many schools turned to online learning, forcing students to stare at screens for hours on end. Working parents fared similarly, with many transitioning from office to home via laptops, Zoom, and constant digital access to work.
“There are rooms full of men and women with PhDs in addictive computing, and they have a plan for your life—for you to look at that golden rectangle all day long,” warned Dr. John Dyer, a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary, at a panel on social media.
“So if you don’t have a plan, you are not going to win. If you don’t think through how you are going to use it, then you’re going to fail.”
So let’s start planning.
Screens can be amazing, powerful tools for education, social connection, spiritual growth, and creativity. But children and teens have one plan for their devices: to play on them as much as possible. We parents must guard our kids’ minds while also training them how to do so for themselves.
Balance your child’s online time with reading, physical activity, chores, and play time. Make technology merely one aspect of life rather than the dominant pastime. Turn devices off at family time and bedtime and be prepared to remove them completely if your kids’ behavior warrants it.
The internet is an open door that allows anyone to enter your home. Filters, blockers, and monitoring software remain effective tools that help parents prevent children from finding inappropriate material. Teach your kids what to do when they accidentally access inappropriate content. Help them remember 2 Corinthians 10:5, “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
As kids transition from TV to tablets, laptops to smart phones, let’s invite them to use their devices to bless others. What games are our kids playing? How are our teens engaging in social media? And do they consider how they reflect God’s character in their online lives?
When used wisely, technology is a gift that blesses our society. In Redeem the Screen, Kyle Idleman discusses how our screens can work to conform us to our culture. But God wants us to conform to his image. What could it be like to leverage our screens for God’s glory?
We must teach our children that people matter most. With this perspective, our kids will develop the ability to own their technology instead of it owning them. Their social media feeds will trend positive rather than negative, building others up instead of tearing them down. As you peek into their online habits, you’ll find practices to encourage and some to correct, always using Scripture as your guide.
And as we parents model admirable online habits, we can cultivate a godly perspective on why and how to use screens. If we allow our smartphones to dominate our lives, so will our kids. If we choose uplifting content to watch, speak life on our social media platforms, and practice healthy habits with our screens, they will have no excuse.
Screens can rule us if we let them. But tools are meant to be mastered for our benefit, not become our masters to our detriment. Through wisdom and discipline, parents can help kids purpose their online presence and use for their good and for the gospel.
The message of the gospel remains constant, but culture changes constantly. To engage people in relevant ways, we must be willing to adjust our methods. We asked some of the plenary speakers from our 2023 RightNow Conference, Grow: Making Healthy Disciples, to share their ideas on engaging in discipleship in our current age.
I think it’s a good opportunity and time for the church to be “re-presented” to the world. The Bible talks about—in Ephesians 3:21—it says, “To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus.” In other words, the church is God’s tabernacle now for Jesus’s presence. In other words, represent him. And so I think that we need to rebrand everything from how we talk about the gospel, how we talk about men, how we talk about women, how we talk about family, how we talk about relationships, how we talk about money. I think one of the mechanisms to do that is utilizing social media, by utilizing reels and YouTube videos and all these other means that are out here to really express, explain, and rebrand discipleship.
I think a huge opportunity for the church to engage in discipleship in the coming years is around community and how lonely people are, how isolated they are, how much they’re desperate for a better way to be in community, to be human, and to answer some of these nagging questions that lurk in our hearts and in our souls. There’s a sense in which, in community, we actually realize what we’re made for. I have this idea that we’re a storied community and we try to tell our stories and understand our stories in light of Jesus’s story. In community we could be shaped into the men and women that Christ can use in the world.
People are longing for connection and relationship. People are longing for life on life, sharing life together. One of the ways that can happen is one believer walking with someone else and just helping them in their walk—using the Word of God to guide them, to share life with them, to instruct them. This is one of the great ways we have to leverage our lives to invest in one another each and every day.
I think social media, digital, AI—these avenues open doors for all kinds of exposure to the gospel in people’s lives and exposure to God’s Word. How can we steward some of these things at the same time? That must be coupled with life-on-life, in the flesh together, walking through all that this life brings and applying the gospel to it. So how do we steward both of those to the full in the days ahead? I think that’s a challenge and an opportunity and a chance the church hasn’t had in history. So, let’s make sure to do them both well and wisely with the Word and the Spirit as our guide.
Technology can be an excellent means of spreading the gospel and connecting with one another. We can use digital media while knowing it does not substitute for in-person community. Discipleship happens most effectively face-to-face.
